I am exhausted. The latest Hawthorne project has put me through the wringer. The major design element, a thin-cut brick wall, is no longer an option after some back and forth with the HOA and a structural engineer. I found myself scrambling for an alternative and think I may have found it, but it proved to be one of the most trying and stress-inducing experiences in my relatively short design career.
Lack of sleep, self-doubt and endless worry has a way of sucking your psyche dry, but it did show me that I CAN do it. One of the things I have struggled with has been trusting my talent. For some reason, I always assumed I have been able to succeed based on my work ethic. But what I am finding is that to succeed in this business, it takes talent and a strong work ethic, something that as I talk with more young designers I find they lack. They only care about the pretty stuff. They want the press and the industry parties. They want the admiration and with it, the big bucks. And don’t get me wrong – I would be lying more than Bill Clinton did about Monica Lewinsky if I said those aspects didn’t appeal to me as well. But I also know that before you can run, you have to walk.
Here’s the deal – I want a career. I want longevity. I want to be the person that mentors others. And that takes effort, knowledge and time. Fortunately, I have plenty of the third and the other two will follow. So to the Hawthorne project and all future design problems, I say BRING IT. Because the bumps now, only mean smooth sailing in the future.
Have a great week!